I’m finally getting back into writing, or trying to. I spent a very long time focusing on promoting old, old writing, because inspiration for new works just wouldn’t come! I tried everything I could. Stream of consciousness exercises, daily journaling, doing other forms of creativity… nothing yielded the results I wanted. I’m not entirely sure what changed, but I started writing again recently. I missed it. It’s one of the only things that truly fulfills me. I’ve been writing since I was four, and writing is breath for me. I think I struggled because of terrible ADHD combined with a terrible 20 years of depression- a depression I am finally, finally, coming out of. Maybe that’s why I’m writing again—-I finally see a point, I finally feel like my words can have an impact. All I truly want is to have an impact.

This year has been wild for me. I started Auvelity, a new drug for treatment resistant depression that saved my life. I got a wonderful pet cockatoo, who is everything to me now. I found someone I feel safe with, who makes me feel loved.

I’ve never been able to really reliably form habits before, but I’ve been journaling every night the past few weeks, and recently it turned into three pages of rambling every morning, just to get my creative juices flowing. That’s been really nice.

I’m finally starting school next semester. I’m 24, but my depression and trauma stopped me from being able to do any kind of education for a very long time. I’m going for creative writing and web development. I’m deeply passionate about both.

I’ve been working on a new book. A memoir, which I finally have a title for: The Divine Love for the Quintessential Freak. It will discuss my trauma, my disability, my queerness, my spirituality, and just about everything that has composed my indie drama movie of a life. I’m excited about this new era of creativity for me.

Watching: Cleopatra 2525

Reading: House of Leaves, Lifeform by Jenny Slate

Listening To: Niki & The Dove, Poe, Fiona Apple, Susanne Sundfør